They probably won’t admit it, but I suspect they were afraid I was about to die.
I know I thought I was.
Yep, it’s been a year since I had a little “cardiac event”. OK, it really wasn’t so little. I had a massive heart attack — what cardiologists refer to as, “The Widow Maker.” A 100% blockage in my Left Anterior Descending (LAD) coronary artery and a 95% blockage in my Left Circumflex (LCX) artery.
It pretty much sucked.
Pretty much? OK, it SUCKED.
I’ve never felt that kind of pain. The physical pain during the heart attack was excruciating. That was pretty short-lived though. The mental pain lasted a lot longer.
Now before someone goes off and calls the guys in the white coats to bring me a straight-jacket, rest assured that mentally, I’m fine now. Physically? Better than ever. Losing 60 pounds, eating better and exercising goes a long long way toward making one feel better.
Now a year removed from that awful day sometimes I get this little thought in my head. It’s weird, and difficult to wrap my arms around…
Maybe that heart attack is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
One of the best things? Really?
Yep. What it amounted to was a swift kick in the pants. Or maybe it was more like getting smacked by a 2×4 across the back of your skull. The proverbial “wake up call.” I needed to make some lifestyle changes, swiftly.
I am a very lucky man. I’m lucky that I was home, surrounded by family at the time of the heart attack. My cardiologist said if I’d been in a plane — as I had been just eight hours before the heart attack — that the chances of survival would have been zero. I am lucky that I was only three miles from one of the best heart hospitals in the Southwest. I was lucky that my ambulance driver drove like a wild man. Lucky everyone pulled over for him. I don’t know if it was luck or “the system” that gave me incredible care providers from the 911 dispatcher, to the firemen and paramedics that responded first, and fast, to the simply amazing doctors and nurses. Whatever it was, I literally owe those people my life. There are no words to express my gratitude to them all. Thank you, from the bottom of my damaged heart.
Depending on whose data you look at, survival rate for the Widow Maker heart attack is 5 to 10%.
I beat the odds.
Yes indeed, I am a very lucky man.
With incredible support from my wife, kids, family and friends, we’ve managed to make the most of this little health crisis. Other people have too. I travel a lot for work, and invariably where ever I go someone comes up to me and says my heart scare got them motivated to lose weight, exercise and/or stop smoking.
I find that unbelievably cool.
When I sat down to write this piece, I wasn’t sure what I was going to say. I figured I would get all emotional and misty-eyed recalling the really shitty day of the attack and all that’s transpired since then.
But you know what?
Screw that. Believe me, it is REALLY easy to feel sorry for yourself when something like this happens. I assure you that facing your own mortality blows and seriously jacks with your head. Oh I could talk more about the pain, all the medications and side-effects, the really crappy feeling that waking up every day and having the first thought in your head be, “well, I didn’t die in my sleep!” creates.
Screw that. Sure, all that happened. But all that is over. Done. Finished.
I don’t feel sorry for myself. I no longer wake up thinking about dying (most of the time).
I AM ALIVE!
And that my friends, is what matters.
I’ve been given a second chance at life, something most people don’t get. That is a good thing.
It’s been a year, and in coronary artery disease that’s a big deal. After 12 months, the chances of restenosis (repeat blockage of coronary stents) is rare. I may be able to remove or reduce certain medications. I won’t have to visit the cardiologist as often.
Living rocks. I like it. I plan on dong it for a long, long time.
Please, do me one favor!
Go to these pages, and read them:
Warning Signs of a Heart Attack
Heart Attack Symptoms in Women
It is so important to understand the signs of a heart attack. Everyone is different. I was lucky in that my symptoms were impossible to ignore. Others aren’t so lucky and walk around for days in the middle of a heart attack. Or they drop dead. Don’t be that guy (or gal. Women tend to have less intense symptoms than men and can be more likely to go longer before seeking treatment than men.)
And please, do what you can to control the factors you can control. Your weight, your diet, smoking, exercise. All that you can do something about.
So do it.
Because living rocks, and the last thing you want to do is look in your loved one’s eyes and see them filled with fear.
PS: Big, HUGE shout out to my peeps in the Under 55 Heart Attack Survivors group on Facebook. Y’all are a pure delight. Your passion, drive and sense of humor go a long way in making this journey easier!
Photo Credit: Lotus Carroll on Flickr. CC Licensed.
Jay,
Congratulations on beating the odds, taking care and charge of your life and for each new day into which you’ve walked for the past 365 days. Kudos!
Thank you, too, for your valuable information about avoiding heart attacks for women and men. Listen up y’all – this could save your life or the life of a loved one.
Happy 1 year Anniversary in your “new” life, Jay.
Jay.. Always happy you are still here.
I am now just over 6 months past my last pacemaker install. Headed to 7 months in a few weeks. Same organ.. different issues. I have Congestive Heart Failure. My heart does not push enough blood. I also have Atrial Fibrillation. Both are controlled with meds and pacemaker.
Every day is a gift. It can be taken at anytime. Enjoy it and live to your fullest. I have followed your social media both prior to this and after it. The walks.. The exercise.. the move to Seattle. Keep up the good work sir.
Happy 1 year anniversary, Jay. I’m so thankful you were in the 5-10%. Almost dying is not fun and a definite wake-up call. I appreciate you continuing to share your triumph and motivating others to take control of our health.
I remember crying when I first heard the news on a playground while visiting our NY kids. Chewing fingernails just waiting to hear you were ok. I also remember being ever-so-thankful that you were home with Francy.
Heart healthy is the way…… <3
Jay, I’ll add my voice to you and your family and friends when I say that I am happy for you. Happy Anniversary and many, many, many x 100 more!
Jay, I am SO thankful that you beat the odds and that you continue with such passion for life. As I watch my father struggle with some very serious and complicated heart disease, I think of you often and I pray that my dad makes it through this very tough hand he has been dealt.
It has been great to get to see you recently and get to talk to you. To see the transformation from your weight loss, to watch your love for your wife, your passion for life and to follow your exercise routine… These things help me more than you know.
Thanks again, my friend. I’m so glad you are still around.
PS. I hope this doesn’t sounds too damn serious. I still love to talk smack to you! That’ll never change…
Jay, Happy Anniversary! This date is one of your “turning points”. A very important “turning point”.
The remarkable part of the story…and what I believe is the REAL meat of the story…is not so much what happened TO you…but what you CHOSE to do after that experience.
You are a remarkable example of someone “getting it”…and doing something…totally reworking your day to day life…making drastic changes in your diet and lifestyle…and POOF!
Looke at you! More handsome than ever! Fitter than ever! And so happy to be alive!
What a great way to spend the rest of your life…good looking and full of gratitude!
Thanks for being so open and sharing your personal thoughts…
Thanks for the additional info provided…I read them and will share with others.
You are a good man, Jay.
Here’s to many, many, more of these anniversaries!
XO Michelle
just wanted to tell you how much your “realness” is appreciated. Personally very glad you are around so I can selfishly read your posts and enjoy your writings, travels and musings. Being that I am over 55 (won’t say how much) – I have had my share of awakenings and yes am extremely grateful for them. Think that is what God gives you in place of good looks or a great body at this age…wisdom and gratitude.
Signed, Extremely Grateful for my Life and Travels
and thanking YOU for sharing!
Hey Jay,
That’s great lesson (about a tragic event) and something everyone needs to read. It sucks that you had to go through it, but glad you made it out and are a better person because of it!
You ask the right questions. Instead of “why me?” you asked “what good can come of this?” and then pursued all the good.
Thanks everyone for your kind and thoughtful comments! Onward to year #2!
Congrats.
I always thought I’d mark the day when I had my valves repaired with something significant. But it didn’t happen. Too much to look forward to for me to spend much time looking back.
That’s the attitude Papa G!
I suffered a Widowmaker at the end of August this year. Lucky to come out of it relatively unscathed!
My husband died from the Widow Maker Heart-Attack in April 2012!
My life hasn’t been worth much since without him.
I loved him so much & were together for 39yrs. He was my person, my lover, my mate, my best friend…my everything.
He was a healthy man, the man everyone wished they were like, a very energetic & strong man at age 65. The one everyone went to when they needed help.
No warning that I know of, other than earlier in the day mentioning he felt a bit off today…. but that was the end of it, no big thing !….We were rolling a ball back & forth for our new puppy while sitting on the floor.
When done he went to the bathroom…I heard a bang & the house shook.
He was laying face down in bathroom blocking the doorway!!…
I think he was already dead. I could see his artery in his one arm jumping all over the place, like blood was trying to get through.
They worked on him for hours between at our house & in the hospital.
Doctor said if he would have survived he would have had severe brain damage due to lack of oxygen too long. Wouldn’t know me or be able to function at all.
You are a VERY lucky man to have survived & I wish you well.
I wish my husband would have been so lucky!!
I keep thinking I should have been able to do something but the doctor said I couldn’t.
Hi Jay,
Glad you survived. How are things now in 2015? I’m 48 and just had my widow maker heart attack yesterday. I was surfing when it happened, but like you had some good fortune to be lucky. I’m doing ok now after getting my stent last night, but I guess I’m still a bit in denial. I’m in good shape with no family history, always thought I was fairly invincible. I’m just glad I’m alive and get to keep living with my two girls and my wife. Not sure what happens next, but I’m going to take some time when I leave the hospital to re-examine my life and do some things differently (wake up call?). Anyway, thanks for your post and would love to hear more from you and any advice moving forward.
Mark
At 66 just had my “widowmaker + one” a month ago. Not only both left arteries plugged, but also the right!! After a mad rush through 3 hospitals and open heart surgery, I beat the less than one percent survival rate !! My doctors and surgeons all informed me that it wasn’t them who kept me here as by all rights I should have died. Some things are beyond explanation.. But not beyond Appreciation !!!
I had a 100 percent blockage of the LAD artery, and a stent wasn’t possible because the front of my heart and this LAD artery are completely dead. I wish someone could tell me if its possible to live long at all with just the pacemaker/ defibrillator and all the medicine I’m taking??
I don’t understand how I’m living w/o a stent implanted in the first place.
Please Reply and God Bless!
It has been 4 months since I suffered from the widow maker the mental effects of the pain and helplessness felt that day are seared in my mind and trying like hell to move on is not that easy. It happened the day before my55th birthday and having my wife drive 400 miles to the hospital because of my out of town job. Can’t even imagine what was racing thru her mind while she spent 6 hours behind the wheel. I am alive and that is all that matters, just wish it was easier to deal with having my wife look down at me in that hospital bed on my birthday
I’m 44 and the mom to 6 kids and I suffered the same heart attack 6 weeks ago. I’m reading through this blog with tears streaming down my face. I’ve felt so alone.
Thank you… For your words. I hop all is still well for you!
It’s been 205 days since my husband had pretty much the same heart attack you did. I can’t say how deeply I can relate to your family in this ordeal. We were on vacation, on the interstate, in the middle of nowhere and it hit. I thought to myself, we’re living the final moments. An Illinois state trooper and myself pulled my husband out of the car and did chest compressions until the paramedics arrived. It was almost 25 minutes of not knowing if he was still with us or not. I have spent every single day worrying and being thankful. As days go by, there is more being thankful and less worrying. I hope you and your family are healed and you never have to go through this again. My husband walked out of the hospital 7 days after his L.A.D. was 100% blocked and he had coded twice on the side of the interstate, and spent 4 days in ICU. He is a MIRACLE. The doctors told me he had a 1% chance of even making it to the hospital. And he WALKED out. He was tired, probably a little confused, but still ALIVE. Sorry for the long post. God bless you.
I had a LAD heart attack this past March 23rd. Physically I am now feeling better, not quite 100% of the stamina I had before;. I had coded 3 times, once in the ambulance and then in the ER and during my catheterization. I am grateful to be alive and have returned to work. I am struggling a little with understanding my experience and am hopeful that joy will return to my life soon. It was nice hearing from a survivor and I plan on having a long life as well. I have incorporated all life style choice…and…without a lot of whining!
I was 56. I had kidney surgery on 8/26/16, that same day I had my heart attack, the chest pain was terrible but the nurses said it was the gas from the surgery. Well on 10/26/16 I went to my primary care physician since I still had shortness of breath on my walks and she did a EKG and told me to see my cardiologist immediately, My cardiologist told me I’d had an “event” sometime recently and told me to get to the hospital ASAP, he did an angiogram and said I had a complete blockage of my widow maker and inserted a stint. On 2/15/17 I had a defibrillator put in since my ejection fraction is 30-35%. Well its been almost 7 months and I’m still kicking. I take my medicine, walk my dogs, do my cardio and anything else the Drs tell me to do. I am lucky to have lived through this, it truly is a miracle. I want to tell people pay attention to the signs, the chest pain, shortness of breath. Some people are not as lucky as I was to live through it. Take care and keep positive, I have another day to spend with my wonderful wife and family. Every day is a blessing and a gift from God!
I’m a 41yr old woman and I had a widowmaker heart attack on 2/7/17! My 14 yr old daughter saved my life. She had watched a discovery health episode about how heart attacks are different for women. I thought I was just having a panic attack but I couldn’t understand why my teeth and jaw were hurting. She woke my husband up and said mommy is having a heart attack my husband got up and took me to the hospital which is 2 miles from our home. I was admitted and had a stent put in my LAD it was 90% blocked. They said had i just gone to bed I would not have woken up. My daughter is my angel! Thank you for sharing your story it gives me hope that I will make it thru this. I’ve changed my diet and am going to cardiac rehab and it’s helping!
My husband just got home last night from having the “Widow Maker”. It was exactly two weeks ago. (on my birthday) He was home alone and thankfully called me at work to say he didn’t feel right. I took him to the ER. As soon as he got to the room he coded. Then he coded 10-20 times during surgery. (The doctor stopped counting) He had 6 stints put in. He was then flown to a major University Hospital. 24 hours later they went back in because one of the stints was back to 💯% blockage. They couldn’t get it open. 9 days in ICU and 4 days in the cardiovascular unit, they felt he was strong enough to go home. We are learning what his new normal is, but he’s taking this as his “wake up”. I just saw this article and it gives me strength! Thank you for sharing your story! May God’s grace be on your life! I know He’s with us!